By Jade Garratt

When was the last time someone told you something you already knew? How did it make you feel?

Edgar Schein opens his book “Humble Inquiry” with a story about his own experiences of this while out walking. He was admiring some wild mushrooms, when a woman approached him to tell him that some of them are poisonous, even deadly. He already knew this, so he’s irritated by her words and her “telling approach”. He reflects afterwards on how her interaction made it awkward for him to build any further dialogue or conversation with her because she’d not asked any questions. 

Photo by Andrew Ridley on Unsplash

A similar thing happened to me this week. I’d taken my daughter to a cafe and had ignored the stack of high chairs because at nearly two, she much prefers to climb on (or dance around) a big chair. The person at the next table leaned over to tell me, “You know they have high chairs.” They were almost certainly trying to be helpful, but it was difficult to reply without sounding defensive or dismissive, because I did know.

How these encounters (and so many other far more important ones) could be more constructive is the subject of Humble Inquiry. Schein recognises that it’s very hard to build a positive relationship with someone if we don’t first acknowledge that they might know things that we don’t. Instead of a “telling” approach, he advocates for Humble Inquiry, which he defines as:

“the fine art of drawing someone out, of asking questions to which you do not already know the answer, of building a relationship based on curiosity and interest in the other person.”

The humility Schein is advocating for isn’t a permanent change to our status or a call for greater deference in general – it’s what he calls here-and-now humility – a recognition that in that moment the person we are talking to has some knowledge, insight or understanding that we don’t. Having here-and-now humility is at the heart of genuine interest in and curiosity about the other person, and it acknowledges our dependence on them, and therefore our vulnerability. It also empowers them, to help (or hinder) us. This kind of exchange is key to building a positive relationship with them. 

But what’s so wrong with telling?

Telling is tempting, not least because many of us have been culturally conditioned that it’s good to know things, and to display that knowledge. Schein was working and writing in a US context, but his summary of US culture as “individualistic, competitive, optimistic and pragmatic” probably resonates with many in the Western world. We tend to rate task accomplishment over relationship building, and often work on the tacit assumption that as we progress up an organisational hierarchy, it becomes more and more acceptable to tell others what to do. It may even be expected that we tell more than ask, because “that’s what leaders do.”

We might justify taking a telling approach because it feels quicker and more efficient than asking. We may genuinely believe (as was likely the case with both the mushrooms and the high chairs) that the person we are telling doesn’t know this already. And we might only be trying to be helpful. 

But whenever we default to a telling approach, we imply that the person we are talking to doesn’t know the thing we are telling them. And we can’t actually know for sure whether that’s true or not. If they don’t know, then fine, but if they do know it already, chances are they’ll be at best mildly irritated or and at worst, horribly offended by our wrongful assumption that they don’t. 

What does Schein’s Humble Inquiry suggest we do instead?

Schein’s work is great at recognising the intricacies and nuances of human interaction. He drew on and created plenty of frameworks and models (his Three Levels of Organisational Culture is well worth exploring if you’ve not come across it before), but he also acknowledged that there is no one-size fits all approach to building relationships, and he saw Humble Inquiry as both “the skill and the art of drawing someone out”. He doesn’t give us a script or a formula, but instead recognises that this “people” work is highly situational and we need to practise doing it, reflect on what works and what doesn’t and learn from that. 

By practising asking rather than telling, we open the door to dialogue, engagement and the start of at the very least a more positive interaction, and maybe even a positive relationship. Coming back to our real world examples, how might things look if instead those interactions had been guided by curiosity and openness? If we ask – what do you know about mushrooms? Or – how does your daughter feel about high chairs?

In the book, Schein gives a range of case examples, where he shares his own personal, professional and sometimes failed attempts at communication and relationship building. He reflects on how he either did or could have adopted a Humble Inquiry approach. From these we start to pull out themes and pointers to help us with more constructive, empathetic communication, but also, crucially we see that there is no checklist or “quick fix” – the behaviour of Humble Inquiry needs to come from a place of genuine respect, openness and curiosity about the other person.

Ways to cultivate Humble Inquiry

1. Take your time and give the other person your full attention.
2. Ask, from a place of genuine curiosity, what’s on their mind or what the problem is.
3. Resist the temptation to make assumptions or jump to conclusions.
4. Ask open questions and for examples as a way to draw out more information.
5. Aim for joint decision making and planning of next steps instead of making decisions for other people.

Humble Inquiry and Psychological Safety

Schein was no stranger to the concept of psychological safety, and indeed we believe it was  Edgar Schein and Warren Bennis who introduced the concept into the field of management studies in the 1960s. They saw psychological safety as a group phenomenon that reduces interpersonal risk through reducing “a person’s anxiety about being basically accepted and worthwhile”. If we’re cultivating Humble Inquiry – treating people around us with respect and acknowledging the unique knowledge and perspective they have and asking them to share it – then we’re likely well on our way to cultivating a psychologically safer environment. And on the flip side, if we don’t have psychological safety, our attempts at Humble Inquiry will possibly fail, because if a person doesn’t feel safe enough to speak up, they won’t be able to respond openly and honestly to our questions. Humble Inquiry facilitates greater psychological safety, and it also requires it to exist in order for it to be successful.

Humble Inquiry for Leadership

Although Schein’s work has relevance for people working at all levels and in all sorts of different roles, in Humble Inquiry, he focuses on the role of leaders, in significant part because of our tendency to equate leadership with “telling”. He reminds us that developing an attitude of Humble Inquiry helps us become more skilful at building relationships – this is a process of growth, development and continued learning, and will likely have positive effects that extend far beyond our current role at work. As Schein’s colleague and co-author, Warren Bennis put it “The process of becoming a leader is similar, if not identical, to becoming a fully integrated human being.”

Further reading

Edgar Schein’s Three Layers of Organisational Culture
Psychological Safety: Capacities of Leadership
Psychological Safety: Structure and Power
Leadership and Management
Behaviours that Foster Psychological Safety
Servant Leadership

Delivering Effective Feedback

We have a new workshop to available to book now!

In addition to our core course on psychological safety, this Delivering Effective Feedback workshop on 26th September builds on the foundations of psychologically safe practice in order to use feedback effectively, and avoid causing harm.

In our work with teams, we’ve found that of all the feedback that people receive during their work life, somewhere between 70% and 80% of it is either not useful, or even harmful. Only 20%-30% of feedback is actually useful!

That’s often simply because it’s delivered poorly.

This workshop examines the purpose of feedback, the characteristics of good feedback, traps to avoid, models to use, and practices to employ. 

All attendees receive a Credly Badge, a certificate of completion to confirm attendance, further reading, materials and resources used in the session, a copy of the Psychological Safety Action Pack and a licence to use it in your organisation, access to a private alumni group, and some swag! If demand is high, we’ll schedule another session for earlier the same day, and you’ll be given the option to switch if you’d prefer the earlier time. Book here!

We’re also excited to announce our next Open Lean Coffee! Monday 5th August at 3pm UK time. Register here. Everyone is welcome – there will be opportunities to contribute verbally, or by text, or simply observe if that’s what you’re comfortable doing. 

Psychological Safety in Practice

Language Matters

Business is not war. And yet, the language of war pervades business and organisational communication all over the world, especially in Western and English-speaking contexts. We have “DMZ” (meaning Demilitarised Zone) in technology, “War Rooms” in a crisis, “Top Gun” salespeople, Guerilla marketing, “making a killing”, being in “the trenches”, etc, etc. These terms, rather than reflecting the reality of the workplace, can actually change how we perceive the workplace itself, and not, generally, in a good way.

This excellent paper from 2001 by Paula Liendo dives in to War Metaphors in Business, and how language creates, rather than reflects, reality. It focuses on the underlying power of metaphors as weapons (ha!) to hide or to reveal reality to us. “War is not an instinct. It is an invention. The metaphor is probably the most fertile power possessed by man.” José Ortega y Gasset

A Typeface for Dyslexia

In our workshop on measuring psychological safety this week, we dived into how to design inclusive and accessible surveys (as we always do – because it’s not just a way to be inclusive, but your data will be trash if only certain people can complete the survey). Just one aspect of ensuring that everyone can access and complete surveys is font choice, which is particularly important for people with dyslexia. The OpenDyslexic typeface is designed to mitigate some common symptoms of dyslexia, and is free to use for any purpose, including commercial and education applications. 

How not to investigate an accident

This is an excellent paper, and thanks to Ben Hutchinson for finding it. Trevor Kletz, visiting Professor at Loughborough University, wrote “How not to investigate an accident” in 2011, and highlights 8 key actions that we *should not* take:

1. Don’t think of a possible, or even probable, cause and then look for evidence that supports it. This is the greatest error.
2. Don’t quote human error as a cause.
3. Don’t blame individuals except in exceptional cases.
4. Don’t report that a recent accident has never occurred before.
5. Don’t keep reports secret.
6. Don’t forget that the actions are the most important part of a report.
7. Don’t say that a recent accident will never happen again.
8. Don’t interview witnesses in the head office

I love all of these, and I especially like the explicit point that interviewing witnesses in a place of power, such as head office, is likely to result in guarded speech or silence. 

Feedback: timing is important!

Timing is just one of the aspects that we dive into in our Delivering Effective Feedback Workshop.

This week’s poem:

Today I shall listen to the news, by Brian Bilston

Today I shall listen to the news and the football scores
and the tally of the dead. Intermittently, I shall pick
at the crossword and the biscuit tin, and stare out
of my back window at a squirrel as he scurries along
my fence. Later, there may be a film to watch. But for now
I shall listen to the prospects for a Liverpool team

looking to bounce back from a disappointing midweek defeat,
the rising unemployment figures, and the tally of the dead,
while attempting to make inroads with the north-west quadrant.
It is thought likely for there to be some changes made
to the side which started on Wednesday evening. I shall
be brought team news from all the featured grounds today

amid continued concerns over travel this Christmas, and
the failings of Test and Trace. It is regretted that in the present
circumstances, my newspaper is unable to process
crossword prize entries. Tomorrow, I shall buy some
more biscuits and possibly a pint of milk, and listen
to the news and the football scores and the tally of the dead.