Icebreakers

If you’re anything like me, when you see “icebreakers” on an agenda or schedule for a meeting, you immediately become a little anxious. Ice breakers are intended to make us feel more comfortable and at ease, increasing the overall productivity of the session, but when run poorly, they can be counterproductive. Not only do bad icebreakers eat into valuable session time, they can be awkward, stressful, or even harmful. 

Aims of Icebreakers

Given that they can go wrong, and sometimes very wrong, why do we bother with icebreakers? Well, they can be a very effective way to:

• Introduce (or re-introduce) ourselves
• Get people engaging and interacting with each other from the start.
• Set the tone for the session – this might be playful, reflective or dynamic, depending on the context.
• Shift the mood or energy within a space.
• Check that everyone is present and able to access and engage with the learning (especially useful for online sessions).

Let’s delve into some of these ideas and how they interact with psychological safety…

Icebreakers and Psychological Safety

At their best, icebreakers can be an effective tool to increase the psychological safety of a team or space, especially if the people present haven’t yet met or don’t know each other well. Primarily, they help to create a more “known” collaborative space – where we know who’s present in the room (virtual or otherwise). It’s difficult to feel psychologically safe if we don’t know who’s in the group with us. 

Making it easier to speak up

Icebreakers aren’t just for groups who are unfamiliar with each other though. Even in a group who already work together and know each other, icebreakers increase psychological safety through encouraging engagement and contribution from all members of the team. Generally speaking, icebreakers exist to help people feel more comfortable being involved and speaking up in a way that suits them (which of course may or may not be verbal). Nancy Kline, who does some great work on creating “Thinking Environments”, has been quoted as saying that “No one has truly arrived until they have spoken.” Indeed, research suggests that if people don’t speak or contribute in the first few minutes, they are much less likely to speak at all. Icebreakers used in the first five minutes help to prime people for speaking up, presenting their ideas, or challenging something later in the meeting. 

There is even some evidence to suggest that if we provide the opportunity for women to speak up first, it creates a more equitable space where both men and women feel equally able to speak subsequently. We could unpack the reasons for that, but for now, let’s take the measures we can to level the playing field that we have influence over.

Setting the tone and expectations

Icebreakers can serve to set, or shift, the tone of the space – is it serious or light hearted, collaborative or informative, formal or informal? When we know this, we better understand how to behave, and what to expect of others in the space. Even with a group who already know each other well, an ice breaker can serve as an “energiser” to revitalise a group, or to mark a shift into a more creative, playful mode of working. This can be particularly important when teams are working remotely or when you need to raise the energy in a room.

Ensuring access

A final, but important, function of icebreakers, is that particularly in virtual and remote environments, they provide an opportunity to carry out a technical check to ensure that everyone can hear and be heard. I guarantee that in any group with ten or more participants, at least one will have microphone or speaker issues! Testing them out at the start helps the rest of the call run smoothly and help people feel confident that if they speak, we can actually hear them.

Key considerations with icebreakers

It’s worth bearing in mind that there are certain cases where finding out who’s in the room with us could actually lower our psychological safety – such as if we find out they’re from a competitor organisation, or a member of a group that campaigns against something important to us. Like any tool, icebreakers alone aren’t a “magic potion” to create instant psychological safety – they are best used alongside other practices, such as a social contract.

Importantly, we need to also be aware that not everyone can speak verbally, or cannot do so with ease. Icebreakers should make people feel more comfortable in the setting, not less. Choose icebreaker activities carefully to ensure they include everyone, don’t make people feel uncomfortable, spotlighted, singled out, or different from the rest of the group. 

Characteristics of great icebreakers

Generally speaking, the best icebreakers are:

• Accessible and inclusive – we want there to be a very low bar to engagement
• Enjoyable – let’s not put people off from the start!
• Aligned with the tone of the session – the icebreaker should feel appropriate to the topic and mood
• Concise – we don’t need them to dominate the whole session

Some typical safe and effective icebreaker activities include:

• If you were an animal, what would you be and why?
• What is one goal you’d like to accomplish during your lifetime?
• Who is your hero? (a parent, a celebrity, an influential person in one’s life)
• If you were an ice cream flavour, which one would you be and why?
• If you could teleport to any place in the world in the next hour, where would you choose to go and why?

And here are some more ideas along with the rationale for them…

Simply state your name (and, optionally, pronouns).

One of the most powerful purposes of icebreakers is to help people use their voice in a group. This simple icebreaker allows us to use our voice, and also informs others how to pronounce our name if they’re not sure. A lot of people (myself included) tend to get anxious at the thought of icebreakers, so asking people to do this, without any other expectations or demands, is perhaps the most effective and inclusive icebreaker practice. It’s a good place to share your pronouns too, but make sure it’s optional. If you’re facilitating, go first by sharing your pronouns, so that people know what you mean, but make it clear that it’s not mandatory.

Draw on a post-it note (for in-person sessions)

Ask participants to draw something on a post-it note or piece of paper, such as an animal, a fruit, or something else. What’s nice about this is that it gets people a little more comfortable doing something imperfect – which then makes it easier during the session to present unpolished, unfinished ideas and questions. You’ll probably hear a lot of excuses like “I can’t draw!” or “My drawing is terrible!” – use this as an opportunity to encourage a more playful, relaxed environment – shared laughter is good for bonding!

Emoji of the day or week (a great online practice)

Great for online facilitation, simply ask each participant to share an emoji that says something about their day or week so far. Depending on group size you might ask all to elaborate, or spotlight a few intriguing ones. If someone posts the aubergine emoji then I don’t know what to say. 🙂 

I’m good, they’re good (for teams who already know each other).

This is a great way of increasing the psychological safety and strength in an existing team who already know and work with each other. The leader starts, and you say one thing that you’re good at. For example, in my case, I might choose mountain biking or certain yoga poses. Once you’ve said that, you choose someone in the room and describe something they’re good at. For example, I might say “I’m pretty good at Crook’s pose in yoga! And Chris – he’s an excellent graphic designer and I’m always impressed with his designs.” Then Chris would go next, and it continues around the table.

Simple counting (particularly effective online).

This sounds easy, but it really isn’t! Simply take turns counting from 1 and up sequentially – someone starts with “1”, and someone else has to say “2”, and so on, but you’re not allowed to confer, plan or discuss. If two people collide, you start again. My record in a group is 8.

What’s the weather like? (great for distributed groups online)

Such a typical British question (and I can say this because I’m British and we talk about the weather all the time), but it’s low risk and easy to answer. This is useful for distributed teams, especially widely distributed across different countries. It’s really interesting to hear about the weather all over the world, and helps us place other team members in real, physical contexts.

Share a boring fact about yourself

One of our workshop participants introduced us to this one, and I love it. Unlike the better know “two truths and a lie”, which can be both challenging and a little pressurised (who can on the spot think of 3 ‘interesting’ facts or fictions about themselves?!) this one is much easier to answer and usually generates some laughter too. Plus people can share as much or as little as they feel comfortable with.

Here be Dragons! Potentially harmful icebreakers.

As a general rule, and not just for icebreakers, we want to avoid asking people to share more than they feel comfortable with or are ready to share with the group.

This might seem obvious, but there are a number of very common icebreaker activities that risk doing this, and some that are actually potentially harmful or exclusionary.I’m going to list them here because they’re common enough that I think it’s worth pointing out the dangers, so we can either stop using them, or at least use them with more care and awareness.

What I had for breakfast.

I’ve used this before, particularly for geographically distributed teams because what people have for breakfast in other countries is always interesting! However, this may be one to avoid or only use with caution, since anyone in the group with experience of disordered eating may find this triggering and a difficult topic for conversation.

How tall am I?

If you’ve never met in person, and only see each other on video calls, we have no idea how tall our colleagues are, so it’s easy to see why we might think of this as a fun icebreaker. However, it can also uncomfortably highlight different physical characteristics, or spotlight people who use wheelchairs. Maybe avoid it unless you know it’s safe to do.

Where are you going/ where do you want to go on holiday?

A really popular icebreaker, but one to avoid. We may think that this is a great way to show off about the wonderful places we’ve been to, or live vicariously through the travels of others, but not everyone can afford holidays, or they may have responsibilities or demands on their time that prevent them from doing so. If some people in the group are talking about their trips to the Bahamas, whilst others have never holidayed, or usually resort to a rainy camping trip, it may only serve to increase the perceived distance between group members.

Childhood photos – guess who the child is

This is popular, but potentially very harmful. It involves asking people to find old childhood or baby photos, sharing them on a virtual whiteboard or printed out and picking one at a time to try to guess who it is. There are many people who will feel uncomfortably spotlighted in this activity – particularly if they’re the only woman, the only black person, or they possess a characteristic that marks them out as different to the other team members. This practice also risks outing any trans members of the group. Additionally, not everyone had happy childhoods, so it may be harmful or triggering for team members or for those who have suffered abuse or trauma. And of course it assumes that people have photos of their childhood, or that their family had access to a camera. 

Icebreakers can be a great way to improve the potential for communication and collaboration in a group, but require careful thought, facilitation, and care for everyone involved.

Other icebreakers

What other icebreakers do you use with your team? Which ones do you find create more psychological safety? Do you know of any more common icebreakers that are risky or harmful?

Thanks to many folks for their help with this article, including attendees of our Leadership and Practice workshops, and Jade Garratt and Elizabeth Stokoe. 

Further Links:

Psychological Safety in Remote and Virtual Teams
Speaking up at work
Psychological Safety #16: Social Contracts
Non-Violent Communication
“No-one has truly arrived until they have spoken.” 
Breaking the Ice: A Pre-intervention Strategy to Engage Research Participants
Scientific medical conferences can be easily modified to improve female inclusion: a prospective study
The Impact of Ice Breaking Exercises on Trainees’ Interactions and Skill Acquisition: An Experimental Study 
The Surprising Science of Meetings | Dr. Steven Rogelberg | Talks at Google
Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking

Psychological Safety in practice

Russ Ackoff on the right kind of wrong

In my reading this week, I came across this excellent Ackoff quote from “Turning Learning Right Side Up: Putting Education Back on Track“, by Russell Ackoff and Daniel Greenberg:

Almost all of the prevailing social problems in our society consist of trying to do the wrong things better. The better we become doing the wrong thing, the “wronger” we become. When we correct a mistake while doing the wrong thing, we become “wronger.” When we correct a mistake doing the right thing, we become “righter.” Therefore, it is better to do the right thing wrong than to the wrong thing right, because we can learn from the former. Exams are used to make students perceive mistakes as bad things, to be avoided or hidden.

Mental Health in Aviation

The FAA formed a Mental Health and Aviation Medical Clearances Aviation Rulemaking Committee (ARC) in December last year to address barriers that prevent pilots and air traffic controllers from disclosing and seeking care for mental health issues. We covered these issues facing pilots and ATC employees in an article last December.That Committee last week released their report “Mental Health & Aviation Medical Clearances”. It identifies various barriers that pilots and controllers face in reporting and seeking treatment for mental health concerns, categorised into: Culture, Trust, Fear, Stigma, Financial, Process, and Knowledge & Information Gap. Recommendations include creating non-punitive pathways for disclosing mental health conditions (analogous to ASRS), peer support programs, revising the requirements for reporting and certification, and enhancing education and awareness about mental health within the industry.

Thanks Andrew Doran for the tip off.

Team Teaching

I find it so incredible that our little psychological safety community has spread all around the world, including people from domains as diverse as maritime operations to primary education. This week, we had the pleasure of a visit from Heath McNeil, Principal at Ormiston Primary School, Auckland. Heath told us about their ecosystemic approach to primary education that sees children in learning environments called “habitats”, supported by multiple teachers or learning coaches. We forgot to take a photo in the cafe that we met in, so here’s a photo of us in the car park nearby! 🙂 

Psychological Safety in Highway Safety

I was honoured to be asked to speak at this year’s National Highways conference “Vehicles don’t crash – people do” event in Leicester. It was a great day, at a superb venue with some amazing speakers, plus myself. Here’s a recording of my talk from the event. It’s dark because the event was held in the National Space Centre, and the talks were in the incredible Sir Patrick Moore Planetarium.

This week’s poem:

The Eagle and the Mole, by Elinor Wylie

Avoid the reeking herd,
Shun the polluted flock,
Live like that stoic bird,
The eagle of the rock.

The huddled warmth of crowds
Begets and fosters hate;
He keeps above the clouds
His cliff inviolate.

When flocks are folded warm,
And herds to shelter run,
He sails above the storm,
He stares into the sun.

If in the eagle’s track
Your sinews cannot leap,
Avoid the lathered pack,
Turn from the steaming sheep.

If you would keep your soul
From spotted sight or sound,
Live like the velvet mole:
Go burrow underground.

And there hold intercourse
With roots of trees and stones,
With rivers at their source,
And disembodied bones.